The Great Family Treasure Map

For grown-ups

What this story is about

Many children want to do everything by themselves, and get cross when they can't. In this story your child finds an old family treasure map with a note: every clue is easier together. Stuck on the first riddle, your child asks for help; facing a "dragon" in the shed, your child stays close to the others and then wins over a grumpy cat with gentle kindness. And the treasure turns out to be the family itself: the people who came before, and the ones around your child now.

Three ways to talk about it

• Make asking for help ordinary: say it out loud when you need help yourself. "Can you help me with this? Every clue is easier together."
• Share a family story or an old photo, and tell your child who that person was, what they loved and what they were like at your child's age.
• Make your own family time capsule: a drawing, a note from everyone and a photo in a box, to open again in a year.

Three questions to ask

• Why was the first riddle easier when it was solved together?
• What did the child do so that Thunder would move off the flowerpot?
• What would you put in our family's treasure tin?

Practise the tool together: Every clue is easier together

When your child is stuck and getting cross, pause and say the words together: "Every clue is easier together." Then everyone says one idea out loud, however silly, and you try the best one as a team. Use it for puzzles, lost shoes and tidying up. Let your child be the one who invites the others in, so asking feels like a strength, not a rescue.

If your child finds it very hard to play or work with others, gets very upset whenever something goes wrong, or often pulls away from family and friends, it is worth talking to your paediatrician or a child psychologist.